The other day I passed a guy who was talking on the phone. While I heard numerous things he was saying (his voice was raised), the thing that stuck out the most was him saying, “Stop, Let me finish!”

It struck me that such a statement is more likely to cause the other person NOT to listen. They’re more likely to feel shut down, and be in their thoughts until this guy stopped talking.

What would be different if he’d said something like, “This is important to me, would it be Okay if I finish? Then, I’ll want to hear what’s on your mind.”

In asking permission to continue, the other person is more likely to feel invested and listen to what he’s saying.

When in a heated debate, don’t be afraid to ask questions and even design the conversation on the fly. It will lead to a richer conversation and likely a better outcome.

You’ve got this.