Self-Management is one of the toughest things I had to learn as a coach. While self-management might sound easy, I can assure you it was a big challenge for me.
While coaching someone we work on topics important to my client. Frequently, I have an opinion about the problem they are working with. In coaching, unless we’re talking about ethics or legalities, the conversation is not about my opinion.
This is where self-management comes in. Self-Management is my ability to put my opinions and thoughts aside. At the very least self-managing means parking my opinions, for now, in service of my client.
There are many ways I self-manage like voice mirroring, writing it down, clearing it and more. Regardless of how I self-management my goals is to bring the focus back to my client as quickly as possible.
There are many stances and skills associated with being a leader. Being directive based on your opinion is rarely one of them. In other words, self-management is as important in leadership as it is in coaching.
It is not uncommon for leaders to want to try to fix things, especially when things start heating up. I will admit, there are a few occasions in which fixing does make sense. However, these occasions of fixing are few and far between.
So the question is, how are you doing with self-management? Are your opinions, fears and wishes leaking out? Do you your opinions and thoughts take away from your leadership? People are unlikely to learn and grow if your fears and opinions are leaking out.
Self-management is knowing when it’s the right time for you to bring forward your opinion. Self-management is also knowing the right time to park your idea and bring out the best in the team.
Self-Management can be challenging and is key to helping others succeed. There are many things you can do to self-manage. At the very least, write your thoughts down and talk with a peer, coach or someone else who can help you decide what to do with them.
Just be careful how you impose them on your team. They may just start believing what you believe, including your fears.
You’ve got this.