If you follow me you’ll know a couple weeks ago I wrote about being present with vulnerability. I ended the post with three simple words … “I am enough“. When I wrote the post it just flowed naturally from my heart. No thinking, no judgement, no evaluating … it just happened. When I hit that last sentence and typed “I am enough” it felt as natural as adding a period at the end of a sentence.
Since then I have been reflecting on what does “enough” mean. I say it all the time but seriously … what does “enough” mean? I looked up the dictionary definition of “enough“:
Determiner & pronoun – as much or as many as required
Adverb – to the required degree or extent
Exclamation – used to express an impatient desire for the cessation or undesirable behaviour or speech
“As much as required”. The existence of the word “required” conjures up constricting thoughts of obligations. My obligation to be as much as someone else thinks I should be. It makes me think of all those times I said “I should ….”. Who says their definition of enough is mine as well? It also has me thinking about workplaces, and how we are continually telling people they are “not enough” in so many ways.
What would be possible if we approached ourselves and those around us as enough? There is no measuring stick. No judgement because they’re showing a weakness. No judgement because they’re crying. No judgement because they seem happy in a life I couldn’t imagine living. They are enough … and so I am.
“required degree”. Required speaks to me of obligation as well. I have learned through my studies of The Responsibility ProcessTM, being in this state of obligation I will be continually evaluating and giving myself advice about what I should be doing. Then I may go through the motions of doing them, to live up to some expectation. In other words, I should and try to be something else.
What we be possible if we eliminated obligation in what makes us complete? No obligation to live up to a cultural norm created some long time ago? No more performance reviews that say “good job last year, but here’s 3 areas you need to change to get a decent raise next year”. No more saying “I should…”
“an impatient desire”. Impatience speaks to something time sensitive for me. In this context it says to me I want to change and I want it now. The curious thing is if each of us “is enough” … then you’re already there. So what would we be impatient about?
What is possible if I’m patient and kind with me. Patient with the places of my life I am stuck as there is incredible complexity covering up what is true for me. In January I learned how to be present with my own vulnerability. Learning about being present with vulnerability would not have been possible even six months ago. I needed to work my way towards this place. Patience. I was enough and I still am.
So for me what I have come to learn is when I wrote “I am enough” … it is just that. I don’t want to avoid what is real and true for me. What I have within is what defines me and my place in this world. I will be patient as peeling back the layers takes time, and the deeper I go the more I am curious. I will view myself and those around me with compassion, patience, love and understanding.
I am enough. Tomorrow I will learn something new about myself. When I learn this new thing about myself … I know I will still be enough.