Sigh. I set a goal late last year to post once per week and until now I’ve kept that goal consistently. It’s been a couple weeks since I posted as I’ve been deeply lost in thought. To be honest I didn’t know what to write about even on this post, so I decided it’s time to let go and see what comes forward and needs to be said. I let go of any expectations that I should write. I’ve let go of any worry or judgement about what might show up.
I’ve been very deep in thought about what is emerging for me. My life is changing. I love what it means for me, and those I love most. I love what it means for the impact I can have in the world around me. Some of what I’m finding I don’t understand yet, and who knows if I ever will. All I know is I want to share.
Life is a journey
I like to think of life like an onion. When I’m cooking with onions, I start by peeling back that dried out layer we see on the top. It’s as if that old dried out layer is there to protect the inside until we’re ready for it. As you’re peeling back the outer layer, your eyes water and sting a little. I cut off what remains of the roots, the thing that held the onion in place while it was growing. With the outer layer gone, I then cut into the juicy inside, my mouth watering with the anticipation of the flavours awaiting me, while at the same time my eyes are stinging again.
Thinking about my life, I see it in layers much like the onion. I keep peeling back layers, only to find another juicier layer hiding beneath. Sometimes, life can make my eyes sting and frankly it can hurt a lot at times. I want to turn on the ceiling fan to clear the air, but I can’t find the cord that will turn it on. It doesn’t matter though as before long, I get used to the stinging in my eyes, and I realize there’s nothing really wrong. It’s then I know I’m ready to keep going.
This is my journey. I choose to peel back more and more to see what I can find underneath. The more I peel, the more I find beneath that I love. The more I find, the more I want to keep peeling as I want to find what’s waiting for me beyond.
Letting go by choosing to grab something different
I keep finding new things about me. Sometimes, the things I find are immediately wonderful. Other times, these things scare the crap out of me as I can’t figure out how it’s possible. All of them are wondrous, and leave me wanting for more. I continue to deepen my view of the impact I’m meant to have on this planet. I continue to deepen my understanding of how I’m connected to the world around me. I continue to see myself deeper than I ever thought possible.
I’ve learned recently the impact of focusing on the need to let go of something. Focusing on letting go leaves me facing backward, and the trail I’ve been on. I loose sight of what’s in front of me, and more importantly where I’m standing right now.
What’s waiting for you?
What would dinner be like if I didn’t add a little onion to it? For me, it would be pretty boring and tasteless. I really want to spice it up, even though at times it’s makes me cry.
Have you ever wondered what your life might be like if … the truth is your life is exactly what you make of it. There’s no point wondering what life might be like if … when it’s you that has created the life you have right now. There’s lots of ways this is said in today’s world, and I know no matter how satisfied you are in all parts of your life you have exactly what you want. Are you ready to peel a layer off the onion?
What is it you want in your life?