Early last year my wife, Rosie, left her busy career in engineering behind.
There are many reasons for this change. One of which is that my business was going great. I needed to hire an assistant to get some of the load of running the business off me.
Given Rosie was looking for change she decided to step into this role. As a part of this we decided Rosie would do more of the work to take care of our lives. Rosie now does most of the cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.
Fast forward to today and our business and lives continues to grow. We could not have imagined the sense of freedom we now enjoy.
Recently, however, both of us were feeling a little concerned about this arrangement. I was concerned I wasn’t doing enough around the house to contribute to our lives. Rosie was wondering whether she’s contributing enough to the business side of our lives.
Our concerns are rooted in our love and respect for each other. Neither of us would want to cause the other grief by not contributing our fair share. It’s just not how we operate as a couple.
This is just another example of where our assumptions could have led to a bigger problem in our relationship. However, we choose to vocalize our assumptions and to let go of the burden of worrying about such things.
As always, our worries and assumptions were wrong. Both of us are appreciative of the other’s contributions to our lives. There is nothing to be concerned with.
Thought of the week
Relationships of all types take openness and communication to ensure they stay healthy. Especially, as in our case, when the conditions around the relationship change.
When you are carrying assumptions in your relationships you carry a burden. It might be you are carrying around some shame, resentment, obligation or any number of other things. None of these will help your relationship.
Why not lighten the load and have a conversation about the relationship? It might be about boundaries, desires, wishes, expectations or simply vocalizing your assumptions.
Whatever it is that will help your relationships flourish go do it. Just don’t forget to quit holding on to the wrong things.