In my last post I asked Are their eyes Shiny?. Perhaps that’s the wrong question. I think a better question is actually Are my eyes Shiny? Over the past number of months I have done a lot of reflection on my life. I could see many areas where my eyes actually looked dull. I know many of you may be assuming I’m talking about my personal life. I choose to live an integrated life so I am talking about my whole life, including time spent both personally and working.
The good news is I feel my personal life is good. I have a great relationship with my wife Rosie, who I love very deeply and is very supportive of my career choices. I also have two sons who I love and am very proud of. They are in their early 20’s and like so many others in their age group working hard to figure out their place in this tough world.
So this leaves my working life. I learned what it means to live an integrated life through The Leadership Gift ProgramTM. Living an integrated life means I can always be me. I shouldn’t have to put on a mask when I go to work. When I do put on a mask I have become very self-aware that my eyes go dull. I had a bad case of dull eyes for some reason several months ago. I came to realize it was because something about me didn’t feel whole.
So I started a quest over the past several months to figure out what would make me whole. I want to be able to jump up and say “I have the best job ever!” In my journey of discovery I was looking to define my purpose and use it as my guiding star as I continue moving forward. A couple weeks ago I found my guiding star and it is defined by the statement “Life is too short to be unhappy at work!“. As a result I am now starting a new branch of my career to help others by increasing my effectiveness as a coach! I still love coaching teams but I am going to increase the amount of 1:1 coaching I am doing.
Then the risk adverse part of me took over, and wondered how do I know this will help me to feel whole? So I started reaching out to several people who seemed to be living an integrated life. During a recent The Leadership Gift Program call I asked the question of others “What makes you whole?” Through this discussion I came to realize I’m focusing on the wrong thing. Being whole is a point in time measure. For example, there was a time when doing Project Management work helped me feel whole (or so I thought). Now being a Project Manager isn’t even close to the surface of what makes me feel Whole.
In other words, it’s important to be aware of what makes me whole right now. However, it’s more important to be aware if I’m not feeling whole and respond to this state I’m in. It’s totally possible something about me changed which shifted my definition of whole. I believe that’s what makes us human and it’s wonderful! I refuse to accept status quo any longer and go through an un-integrated life where I’m unhappy!
Now lets go back to the beginning. Are my eyes shiny? Yes they have regained their shininess!! The other day when I started a new personal coaching relationship with a client I was asked “How are you?” For likely he first time I was able to truly declare I am free, powerful and at choice! I have the best job ever!
So I invite you to go look in the mirror. Are your eyes shiny? If not, how are you going to respond?
Life is too short to be unhappy!